Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Time To Take Down the Christmas Tree

Zoe at 9 Months

Zoe reached 9 months on Christmas Day. That's when she also really started crawling. So many things to get to under the tree!

Zoe is a very good-natured little girl, and draws comment from everyone we meet on how happy she is. So far I have been very lucky because she has been quite content to sit and explore her toys. Now with her new-found mobility she has become much more determined to explore her world instead. She has started to four-point crawl, and is working on pulling herself up. I love how it's in her nature to learn methodically, trying and trying again until she gets it. That virtue will take her far.

Her favorite place to explore is my open dishwasher, and it keeps her occupied while I'm in the kitchen. (she must get that from her father...) She is also quite passionate about her nasal aspirator and will cry her eyes out if she gets a hold of it and you try to take it away from her. Bathtime has become like an act from Sea World! Splashing, crawling, shrieking, and twisting around - even with Sabrina's help it's quite the event!

We finally dropped Zoe's crib today. She is not a restless sleeper at all and will always be in the same place you lay her down. And it hasn't occurred to her yet that she could get to a sitting position from her back, so we hadn't felt a sense of urgency yet. But with how she's progressing over the last few days, we knew it was time. What a big girl!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Healed

I like to look back at my posts from the same time in previous years, just to see where I was at back then compared to where I'm at now. When I looked back at December 2008, to December 2009, and thought about where I'm at now in December 2010, I rejoiced.

The first Christmas without our babies was hard, and that's to be expected. Everything was still raw and we were still so confused. Last year had its hard places, but I encountered a turning point in my grief journey. This year, those raw places have been healed.

I wrote last year about the season of Advent:
The Advent season is about preparing your heart for the coming Saviour. I used to think it was more about fixing what was wrong about myself so I would be presentable for His arrival. I realize now it's about recognizing what it is in my heart that needs to be fixed by Him.
and since then I stopped trying to fix my grief and allowed the Healer to do it. He showed me that He can't be anything but good and that He can be trusted with my precious babies. He has enabled me to be patient and wait for the day where we will be together again, in all our fullness.

I love this time of year. I love coming again to the end of another year, often weary and usually burnt out, and remember that I have a Saviour, one who came to bear my burdens.

a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices...
for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!