Musings on Breastfeeding

I discovered today again that my thinking is really messed up. As we have approached and passed the 3-month mark, I've been venturing out more, only to be pulled home to feed Zoe. One of the big perks of breastfeeding for me was how it was supposed to be easy and convenient. It is to a point, but I am much more comfortable feeding Zoe at home. I think I've mentioned before that oversupply has been our issue, and I continue to struggle to manage the "abundance of my provision". It just does not lend to simply popping baby to breast mid-conversation, mid-meal, or mid-outing.

As I was mulling over what to do next to make breastfeeding more mobile, I was struck by the thought "Why?". I like the peaceful closeness of our times on the couch, sometimes in prayer, sometimes with book in hand, sometimes watching TV. And it's only going to be available to me for a short while longer. I think I've been putting myself on a timeline again. That I "should" be out and about now that it's been 3 months already. More concerned about what people might be thinking about me being at home than about what Zoe and I need right now. Messed up, right?

I think God arranges these situations to teach me a better way to live. Not having breastfeeding come easily or naturally has given me the simple gift of enjoying this time with my precious Zoe. How long will it take for Him to cleanse from me this disease of busyness, of accomplishment, of needing to "do" to feel worthy? It amazes me that I have to continue to give myself permission to enjoy this time of sweet togetherness with my family.

Zoe at 3 Months

Zoe gets busier and busier! She loves to bounce and sing in her doorway jumper. I won't apologize for the length of this video because I could watch her all day.

Happy Father's Day

Corrie spent his Father's Day cleaning out the branches in our back yard from cutting down a tree yesterday. Sabrina loves to be his helper. They're like two peas in a pod - you can't see it in the picture, but they're both in their shorts and rubber boots (to stomp down the branches). How cute!

Daddy being a "mobile" for Zoe. They're spending some quiet time together while I'm in the kitchen. I love to hear them having conversations - she always has lots to tell him.

Sabrina, Nicholas, Olivia, and Zoe are so blessed to have such a great dad.

Zoe Speaks!

Zoe loves to talk to her bug friends in her mobile...

Zoe at 10 Weeks

The pretty blue scarf has become a sort of "blankie". Zoe likes to hold fistfuls of it and wave it around and cuddle it to her face. Already a flair for the dramatic?