But Lot's wife looked back from behind him, and became a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:26, AMP)I've been thinking about Lot's wife today. I've also been really missing my babies today. Everywhere I go they follow me like little ghosts - I've been thinking with the "would have's". If I was grocery shopping, I "would have" had to go to Superstore because they have the bigger shopping carts that can fit two kids. They "would have" been poking each other and getting mad, reaching out to either side to pull down things from the shelves. If I was in the back yard, they "would have" been playing in the grass, with chubby little legs and bare little baby feet. Maybe they "would have" been walking on their own by now. Sabrina "would have" been playing with them. If I was having a meal at the table with our family, they "would have" been lined up in their high chairs side by side. I "would have" hardly been able to eat because I "would have" been feeding two babies at the same time.
You see what a trap this is? The footnote to the verse above discusses that not only did Lot's wife look back when instructed to keep going forward, but she most likely lingered behind and literally became a pillar of salt due to the brimstone raining down on Sodom.
I can understand why she looked back. That's where her heart was and even though an angel of the Lord was there to lead her forward, she wasn't able to yield her heart's desire and consequently stayed there suspended in time forever.
I don't want to become a pillar of salt. I know I need to be looking toward the Lord instead of back to what "would have" been. What "would have" been is a dangerous place to go to because it can only bring despair. There my dreams can never happen because they are based on something that isn't a part of my life here on earth anymore. I need the Lord to come and dream new dreams for my family, to breathe new vision into those places where our dreams have died, to gather up the fragments of our shattered dreams and create something we never could have imagined.
4 comments:
I struggle with this so much, but maybe more with the "should be" thoughts than the "would haves"...
And I think the attitude behind the "would have" is less negative--"should be" has a sense of entitlement (that you have written about before).
But both show how imperfectly we are able see God's plan for our lives.
Hi Lisa talk about "would of should of " iam probably the one who struggles with this more than any you know. ilove the waay you associate Lots wife with thhis delema. i love this post and will read it often bookworm said it, how imperfectly we are to se Gods plans . I miss olivia and Nicholas to , and often go to "what it would be like" i love you mom
Hugs! I know what you mean. :-) I don't want to be a salt pillar either!
I have been learning about this too. One of the things I have learned is that Jesus (and God) are in the present. I mean yes they can heal the past and have plans for the future but for us, that is all grounded in today.
I still struggle with should have and could have from the past. But if I remember God is here in the moment it seems to help a little.
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