Monday, April 20, 2009

Forgetting What is Behind

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13

I've had this piece of Scripture on my heart now for days. I was at first a little concerned, because I wasn't sure if it was a nudge for me to forget everything that happened and "move on". But what also came to my heart was the reassurance that it was not who but what. And anyway, I can't forget about Nicholas & Olivia because they are not behind, they are eternally present.

So I gave some thought to the word "forget". When I forget something I've got my mind on something else and have lost focus on the thing that was forgotten. Maybe forgetting is less about discarding and more about redirecting focus. The meaning of the Greek implies something that is neglected, or no longer cared for. Anything that you're neglecting or not caring for cannot grow (like my tomato plants by the end of summer). Are there things in my life that need to be neglected so they cannot grow? So that what I am straining toward can bear fruit?

Perception as Reality

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection of reality as in a riddle or enigma, but then when perfection comes we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood by God.
I Corinthians 13:12 (AMP)

To continue in my latest theme of waiting on God and expecting change, I realized the other day that perception indeed is reality, even in relationships. Have you ever been in a place where someone believes something about you, and even when you've changed, you can't do anything for them because of what they believe about you? For example, I never was the most conscientious housekeeper and it has been a slow "training" by my husband to bring me to the point where I can say that I have a neat, clean house most of the time. However, because of the circumstances of where I started and what I have been like, it has been hard for him to make the connection to the habits I have established now. He often cannot see what I have done and usually notices the few things that have not been done.

I wonder if I have been like that with God lately. Am I only seeing what He hasn't done? Is my flawed perception my reality of what God is like? Am I blind to what He is doing in my life because that's not what I think I should be looking for?

Saturday, April 11, 2009


I've been restless lately. Wondering if life has become too comfortable again. I seem to easily settle into a state of inertia where my routine is my god. Go to work, home again, supper, time with Sabrina, settle on the couch for the evening. Praying that I don't waste my time in idleness but not doing anything to change it.

It's the same life I had before Nicholas & Olivia came along. And that's what concerns me. I've been crying out in prayer for balance, thinking that balance meant more time at home. Readers, do you know how subtle and relentless the Enemy of your soul is? He had turned something as simple and beautiful and godly as home into an idol to trip me up. God's response to my prayers for balance was more restlessness, so that I would continue to seek Him and discover what His best was for me. And I was only able to hear that after a crazy day of work, swimming lessons, then meeting a very wise friend for a late-evening tea. I love the way God works!

I realized that I was again seeking my own definition of balance instead of allowing Him to define it for me. Did you know that anything that you invest into Him gets returned back many times over? That doesn't only apply to money. It works for time, too.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Time is Now

There are some things in my life that I've been waiting for. But it struck me the other day that I might be focusing my energy into either waiting or anticipating instead of engaging in what is going on around me right now.

When Moses asked God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name? Then what shall I tell them?' " God said to Moses, "I am who I am . This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

God defines Himself as present reality. He IS. That means He is in what's going on around me. I want to be deliberate about acknowedging the wonder of that.