“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7
"...You do not have, because you do not ask."
James 4:2
"And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
Luke 18: 7-8 (Parable of the Persistent Widow)
I've been thinking a lot about my friend Misty's response to my last post: "You are allowed to hope and pray for a healthy baby." I've been lifting up to the Lord that I've been struggling with how to pray for Zoe. His response was a reminder in my heart of the verse "ask, and keep on asking".
I realized then that I've been trying to pray "perfect" prayers. Ones that are perfectly in line with God's will. They've been open-ended and wishy-washy, "Lord, let Your will be done" prayers without the asking for the daily bread, or acknowledging that He is Father. It's another form of that insidious self-protection that I've been working through since Nicholas & Olivia died.
Sabrina has no problem asking for what she wants and needs. Repeatedly. As an imperfect, human parent I get frustrated sometimes because I can't meet her needs and expectations. But God is our perfect parent. He can handle the repeated requests, and when it's time to lay them down, He will tell us.
I've been reluctant to pray for a healthy baby because I don't trust that I'll get my prayer answered. It didn't get answered before. Twice. Why, I don't know and choose to accept that I won't know until I see Him face to face. God is not human and His ways are not our ways. What's been burning in my heart lately is needing to go deeper in seeking an understanding of God's character and His love for me. I've been thinking so much about Job and his ability to say "I know that my Redeemer lives" even in the face of losing all his children, his fortunes, and his health. What kind of relationship did he have with the Lord before all that happened to make him so rock-solid in his understanding of his Father?
So I'll ask, and keep on asking. And I will seek, and keep on seeking. And knock until the door is opened.
3 comments:
I get that feeling, that is how I felt when pregnant with my other babies after the loss of Mackenzie. My mom would always say Karen you have to trust God. Ny reponse I trusted him once and what did it get me. I still struggle with that !!!
hi Lis, you always remind me that ther3e is hope.. i love the story about Job.. he was steadfast in his faith !! i dont know if God wants perfect prayers at least i hope not .. i talk to Him as if He was in the room with me and we often have difference of opions!! he has heard me at my worst!!! But i continue to believe that one day my prayers (however they sound) will be at least considerd, and ill keep asking and continue to believe that anythiing is possible if we BELIEVE!! i love you and im sorry i havent kept up ..but im doing that now !! Keep strong and know that i pray for my little Zoey everyday .. love mom♥♥♥
Hi, Lisa. I hope you don't mind but I would like to say something in response to "Anonymous Mom" that I found very encouraging. It's an exerpt from a devotional I read every morning. "You Don't Have to Pray Perfectly" was the title one morning and it said, "You may not feel you pray "right" prayers either, but be encouraged. By the time your prayers get to God, He hears perfect prayers because you have prayed in Jesus' name, not your own name. When we pray in Jesus' name we present to God all that Jesus is, not what we are; therefore our prayers are accepted by God." This really encouraged me and I hope it helps you, too. So keep on praying knowing that He knows all about us exactly where we are!
Love, Mummy
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