I had to say out loud today that this grief journey's going to take at least a year. It was a relief to admit it. Even that is still trying to apply a timeline to something that can't be predicted, but at least I'm not living in a state of "I should be fully recovered by now..."
We gave birth to twin babies July 18, 2007 only to discover a couple of months later that Nicholas had a fatal genetic disease called spinal muscular atrophy. He passed away November 27, 2007 and a week later his twin sister Olivia was diagnosed with the same disease. She passed away January 12, 2008. This is a memoir of their lives, as well as a place to share my journey through everything that has happened.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Grief on a Timeline
Grief isn't something that I can "overcome". I just finally realized that today. Even though I heard phrases like "it will always be with you" or "you never get over it", I really didn't believe that would be my experience. It's in my nature to achieve, to conquer, to control. To overcome. I was going to be successful in my grieving; I was going to "grieve well". Maybe I am grieving well, but that doesn't mean that I pass a test at the end of X number of months and I'm done.
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1 comment:
This is exactly how I looked at grieving and I was so upset that it wouldn't work this way. It does get better; it does not go away. I imagine if the grief left, maybe we would also lose the wisdom gained from it? Steph
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