Olivia and Nicholas' bedroom is still the same as when they were with us. The crib is made up, their toys still out, their two bouncy chairs side by side. There's diapers in the basket on the dresser.
But that's not what I'm confessing. Having their room as their room is a comfort. It means to me that they are still an ever-present part of our family.
But I still have some of Olivia's laundry in the hamper. I keep it there, unwashed, unfolded, not put away, because when I peek inside it feels like it could be just another ordinary day and my twins are not dead. It's like they're just not here right now.
5 comments:
I was thinking about how in my own times of loss circumstances (and well-meaning people) pushed me through the process of leaving those reminders there. Yes I still own the furniture and 'stuff' but the daily reminders of the life that was were quickly cleaned up.
Not that you really need my advice but take your time. I am glad that God is allowing you to gently move through that process.
I think I would still have the laundry in the basket but my church family came over and washed everything before we got home. Sometimes that saddens me...I wanted to 'smell' them and I wanted to see where Jenna had left which toys out.
I am incredibly sentimental and everything is where it was before Jenna left us. I am not ready to erase all the little signs that she was here from our lives.
Hugs, Lisa. I hope you have a good day today.
Lisa,
I know I would do the same thing but I don't think I would be as strong as you are. I really admire you for your strength!
Ebony
If Tabitha had been in our home, in her room, in her bed, I think I would still have it set up too--along with any unwashed pieces of clothing that she would have worn. But since she was supposed to share a room with her brother, we took the crib out and put the clothes away to make it his room again.
There is so little tangible evidence of our children's lives--treasure what you can!
Thinking of you...
I still have frozen breastmilk in my freezer that I can't part with. The other day my daughter picked it out and said "awww- smells like Amryn" (she was tube fed and so my milk was a constant sight and smell around here!)
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