As Sabrina heads back to school, I'm reminded of where we were a year ago. A whole year ago!
I kept trying to write this post from the perspective of what we were doing last year this week, but it just wouldn't write. I think I'm in a place right now where I need to leave those memories there because I'm here now. Does that make sense?
This is a new place for me. I've been vaguely aware of a growing sense that I am gradually moving forward from what has been toward what will be, but don't know how that can happen without leaving my babies there. How do I live in this place and still be Nicholas & Olivia's mom? How do I keep them alive in memory and spirit where I'm at now because I cannot be there and here at the same time?
7 comments:
Tough questions. I don't know either. It's such a strange journey, isn't it?
Hugs, Lisa...
no matter where you are your babies are still ALWAYS a part of you, no matter what you ARE their mother and they are your children they are just in God's care till you get there!!!!
It is so hard to feel like you've moved to being somewhere else without them.
Although we learn to live with the pain it still is always a part of our lives, we just learn to live with it.
lots of love Karen (mom of Mackenzie born still june 30 1998
Hi lis , I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful mother, Sabrina is proof of that. and had our precious little livvy and Nicky lived they would have been blessed to grow up with you . I now realize how difficult it must be for you and what you must go through everyday but i, like so many of your friends know that the babes are healhy and happy withJesus , You (and ME) can LOVE them alwaysand cherish their memories ( ithrough all the wonderful pictures) and God has given you the sstrenght to continue your journey in llife, taking care of your family ,Sabrina and Corrie, being the best you can be at whatever you do and know that your babies are loved and taken care of by God . I can see how hoow far you all have come as a family and it has really toiched my heart. Things can only get better and better, Sabrina is a very happy child ,very loving and caring and is growing in the loving home that you provide. She is your precious litlle one and will need alot of your undevided attention for the next few years and what a great mother she has to guide her. I hope you can understand what it is im trying to say, I love you so much and i only want good things for you and Corrie and Sabrina,and I hope oneday all your dreams come true. Love MomXXXOOO ps forgive me if iv said any thing wrong , lately im not so good at expressing myself
That sounds very healthy Lisa.
God promised a new day, and you are walking in it.
V.
Thanks, V. That's exactly the word from the Lord I needed to hear.
Thanks, Ma, for your encouragement - it really means a lot to me :o)
I am sorry I didn't see this post sooner! For some reason my feed isn't working. Must reboot:-)
What you said about having mixed feelings about moving forward resonates with me so much. Sometimes I feel like my whole life as a Christian betrays my mom. Then God reminds me that those decisions are His.
I was thinking about you this morning and remembering that September would have been the month that life started to change again. Interesting that you had already posted about it...
Love,
Misty
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