Retreat

Today, I gave myself permission to retreat. I've actually been in retreat for a couple of weeks, but it's taken this long to release my guilt over it. There's something in me that I feel needs protecting, from busyness and overindulgence, from insensitivity, from people who mean well. I get overwhelmed easily, and have decided to give myself permission for that too. After all, if I could control it, I would. This year, I seem to need to be taken care of instead of being the one who does the caretaking. I believe that being in this place of need is right where God wants me to be.

I love Christmas. That hasn't changed. I don't even know if my approach to it has changed. I love to give gifts, and eat, and gather with family and friends. I think that what has changed this year is that I'm quietly waiting for the Saviour.