I don't know why I get so annoyed with grieving. I told a friend today that if anyone else who had been in my situation expected to not experience lifelong effects of grief I would think they were crazy.What I'm more annoyed with is everything now is colored with it. I've been very emotional lately and if I hadn't been through losing the twins I would have chalked it up to pregnancy hormones and laughed it off. But there's always the question of whether it is something more. Am I headed for another griefburst? Is there something that I'm not in touch with that needs to be released?
For me, grieving is not a continual ache or agony. It is a wistful longing, interspersed with storms of emotional release. It is long periods of peace punctuated with confusion and anger. It's the dark clouds appearing on the horizon just when I'm starting to think it's been quite a while since I've seen them. It's understandable that this pregnancy is going to be emotional. I just wish it didn't need to be colored with grief too.
2 comments:
Honey I am so excited about this baby and I have seen that in you too. If you didn't come to this place I would worry that you were well, crazy:-) I love your description of grief.
My experience is that by honoring the grief, you can fully experience the joy too.
Love,
Misty
Lisa, I have to agree with what Misty is saying. It's OK to grieve and everyone does it in there own way and time.
This pregnancy is so exciting for everyone but at the same time so very scary. It I'm sure is going to bring out some things that maybe not all of us have dealt with yet.
Just always remember that you have so many people praying for you and we all love you so very very much!
Your sister, Tricia
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