It's Just Like Riding a Bike

Sabrina just learned to ride her bicycle without training wheels this week. As Corrie and I were teaching her how to balance and ride straight without crashing into things, our common encouragement was "Keep your head up!" or "Look ahead of you". Whenever she looked down at her feet or around her, she would wobble and start to fall.

I was struck by how true that is in grieving. Dwelling on memories or thinking about our loved ones that are gone is necessary and good, but when your main focus is not upward and ahead, you wobble and crash. This week, I wobbled too. When I was pregnant with the twins, there was another woman who worked with me who was pregnant and due at almost the same time I was. She brought her little girl into work this week and she was so bright and alert and strong and alive. She was such a representation to me of what I was missing. I was transported to a place where I should have been holding two beautiful children, one on each hip. I was overwhelmed with sorrow once again.

God is so good. After a quiet day of seeking Him I spent some time with my Sabrina. I have noticed recently that He magnifies the sweetness of the time we have together. He is able to pack all the abundance that I experienced with three children into one. As I continue to make the decision moment by moment to lay my grief at His feet and ask Him to turn it into something beautiful, He is so faithful to do just that.