Thursday, February 7, 2008

Carried by Grace, or Yes, I Really Am OK

Yes, I really am doing OK. I have experienced heartbreaking loss, exhaustion, and chaos all in the space of a few short months, but I am OK. I am learning how to live as a mom of 3 when two of my children are not here with me, and I am OK.

How can I possibly be doing OK? Grace. I'm being carried by God's grace. I'm firmly in the hand of God's grace. What does that mean? To me, it means that as long as I continue to bring everything that has happened to His throne and tell Him how I'm feeling, and leave it there for Him to take care of, He gives me what I need each day. That's the grace of God.

Don't get me wrong - I'm doing my grief work. I visit with Nicholas and Olivia. I look at their pictures, the little movies I made. I know they have died and that they are never coming back. I cry, I wail, I carry sorrow. But I'm OK. What an amazing gift.

1 comment:

Tracey Craigon said...

Thank you for sharing your story! I got the link to your blog through Misty's blog. Grace is real, always available to us in abundance in our time of need - this is God's promise and gift to us, absolutely! I am so sorry to hear of your loss but so inspired at our God at the same time. May His blessings overflow to you and your family as you go through this trial, which you will come through victoriously, all because of Him. Amen.