I recently had the opportunity to hold a baby close in age to Nicholas & Olivia. It was only for a minute, because she immediately made strange and wanted to go back to her mother. But in that moment, I felt how squirmy and strong and active she was and immediately knew just how weak my babies were. My heart was grieved at the depth of that knowledge and I thought about it all evening. Finally, I asked God why my babies had to be so weak.
The Spirit reminded me that God values weakness, and that physical strength is something that is valued by the world. My children were not disadvantaged because they lacked physical strength.
One thing I was able to observe in Olivia is that as the disease progressed, she became more peaceful and content. She was at the developmental age where her natural desires were to explore her world and to resist being held back for any reason. However, I would walk into her hospital room and on many occasions she would be quietly laying there, watching TV or observing what was going on around her. She was tranquil and looked deep in thought. I hoped that at those times God was ministering to her heart and telling her things that I will only know on the other side. Olivia had always been a fighter with an incredibly strong will, and I saw how her acceptance of what was happening to her body had transformed her. What a beautiful and powerful lesson.
1 comment:
Thank you Lisa for starting this blog. It is really helping us cope with the loss of our grandkids Nicholas and Olivia and to understand some of the why's this tragedy happened to our family. Much of our pain is in imagining how you an Corrie are managing to cope with all of this and some of what you are writing is helping in that respect.
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